


But I Know Where Your Heart Truly Lies

by nommunication



Series: I write ficlets to deal with feelings [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, Gabriel isn't dead!AU, M/M, Sabriel Week
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-04-06
Updated: 2012-04-06
Packaged: 2017-11-03 04:24:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/377199
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nommunication/pseuds/nommunication
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel didn't die, but he couldn't kill his brother, either. Except the only person who knows any of this is Sam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Know Where Your Heart Truly Lies

**Author's Note:**

> My Contribution to Sabriel Week. I was gonna have someone beta it but they disappeared before giving feedback. But my train-of-thought writing *should* be coherent...

“But I know where your heart truly lies…here”

Lucifer had been wrong, of course.

He’d known Lucifer would expect a doppelganger; it is, as Lucifer said, one of the tricks he had taught Gabriel. But Gabriel had developed his skills as he honed his persona as the trickster whereas Lucifer had relied on demons to do his work for him.

So it was a simple double bluff. Lucifer catches the ‘real’ Gabriel sneaking up behind, turns to face him. Then double checks over his shoulder that the other figure is a mirage (because he isn’t a complete idiot) before stabbing his brother dearest. It wasn’t that hard to make yourself appear to vanish in a wave of blue mist like your creations did. Then when big bro is distracted with killing ‘you’, reappear behind him and stab him in the back. As if the metaphorical resonance wasn’t strong enough.

But he couldn’t do it.

He couldn’t kill his brother. The one who’d taught him all his tricks; raised him, or his unruly side at least, while the elder two archangels were busy running heaven. The one who’d torn their family apart with the words that it eventually transpired many angels thought but only he was brave enough to say. And yes the whole apocalypse thing and the wanting-to-wear-Sam-to-the-prom thing and the general being evil needed to be stopped. This wasn’t the brother he had known, not really – the pit had hardened him. And Lucifer clearly wasn’t above fratricide, as shown by the (fake) corpse on the floor of the ballroom. But still he couldn’t do it. Still couldn’t kill his brother.

 

He tells Sam this, days later and when Dean and Cas are not around. Sam’s face is a strange mixture of shock-disbelief-anger-disappointment-frustration-relief when he discovers the supposedly-dead archangel in his motel room, but it smoothes out as Gabriel does his best to explain. He’s not sure whether his compulsion to share is from a desire to have someone tell him what he did (or didn’t) was okay, or whether he’s just so narcissistic that he can’t stand having to hide with nobody to pay attention to him or his pranks.

You’d think of the two Winchesters Dean would be the more likely to understand, being the one who failed to kill his brother when he was meant to so many times. But the problem is that the fierce protect-Sammy instinct is so strong that if he saw Gabriel was still around to have another shot at killing luci and getting Sam off the hook he would make him do it again. Gabriel stood up to his brother like Dean shamed him into doing, and he’s not afraid of that anymore. But he still can’t kill him.

It’s Sam who understands. Sam who despite his insistence at the time is glad Dean couldn’t kill him. Who knows he couldn’t kill Dean. Sam should have full reason to hate Gabriel, what with the Kill-Dean-Tuesday loop and the play-your-roles TV land.

Instead, Sam understands. Sam forgives him.

 

 

In the weeks the Winchesters spend trying to figure out pestilence’s game plan Gabriel visits Sam regularly. And Sam could make him join them, pressure him from the guilt of backing out before to make him help their anti-lucifer plan work this time, but he doesn’t. He allows Gabriel to stay out of it like he wishes he could. And when Gabriel zaps them from the motel room to the middle of god-knows-where-but-it’s-beautiful he can pretend that he got out too.

He can’t forget though, and it creeps in sideways, tainting their conversations.

One day the turn it takes surprises Gabriel.

This time they’re on the edge of a lake in Sweden, surrounded by forest that rises into distant hills and far from human inhabitation. It’s the middle of the night in America but here the dawn is breaking across the horizon and as [views](http://s3.amazonaws.com/data.tumblr.com/tumblr_m1yx41IRAJ1qecpdro1_1280.jpg?AWSAccessKeyId=AKIAI6WLSGT7Y3ET7ADQ&Expires=1334133026&Signature=wMaaCc%2F8GtqRoVIgy14wa%2F6H8CI%3D) go it’s fairly stunning. But then maybe Gabriel is biased because it reminds him of his pagan home.

He’d been reminiscing to Sam about his days as Loki, Sam’s fascination with lore of any kind making him an attentive audience and the surprisingly easy friendship that had grown between them making him joke and share and compare how modern day sacrifices just aren’t like they used to be.

They lapse into comfortable silence. Gabriel can see Sam’s thinking something over and leaves him to it while he gazes aimlessly out over the lake.

When Sam does speak up, it’s inevitably bringing the conversation once again back to the apocalypse.

“You said our lives paralleled your brothers. How I was Lucifer, the younger brother, rebellious of Daddy’s plan. How that meant I was destined to be his match, his vessel”

Gabriel hums noncommittally.

“But you’re wrong, I think. Yes I went against my dad’s plan for me, but I didn’t ever want to destroy what he had, what he loved, like Lucifer did. I just wanted out. I couldn’t stand all the fighting by the end and finally I left. I went and made a new life for myself – one which suited me more than the role that was planned for me and where the people had no idea what I really was. But it caught up with me in the end, I got thrown back in…sound familiar?”

Of course it does.

“I’m not exactly a role model for people to compare themselves to, kiddo. Not to mention that taking law at Stanford is the lamest polar opposite to becoming a super awesome trickster pagan god like I did”

“Opposite details maybe but fundamentally the same. I’m more of a match for you than for Lucifer”

Gabriel’s not entirely convinced, but he lets Sam believe it.

“I guess that’s why I forgive you. Why I don’t mind, at least. Relative to our power I’ve done worse shit than you. The demon blood, releasing Lucifer, and even then it turns out I was playing right into other’s hands. Even if we succeed in getting these rings, the only way to get Lucifer in the cage is if I let him in and throw us down together. So I never escaped, not really. I figure at least one of us should get the chance and it looks like it’s you and I’m not going to taint that with resentment”

Gabriel should probably say something. He’s turned away from the lake to watch Sam speak, but he doesn’t talk himself. Just listens.

“And since my days are numbered, I figure, may as well enjoy these little escapes. – “

And is Gabriel just seeing things or is Sam staring at his lips in an I-want-to-kiss-them way?

“ - Take what I can before I go…”

And yes Sam Winchester has fucking started leaning in. His eyes flick up to meet Gabriel’s and apparently whatever face he’s wearing while he still processes this information is not encouraging because Sam pulls back sharply, blushing.

“Sorry – I don’t know what came over me – “

Gabriel’s mouth kicks in before he can stop it

“well, me later, hopefully”

Even he has to cringe at that one. Archangel Gabriel: professional tone lowerer. But Sam takes it in his stride and says “I’ll take that to mean you won’t mind me kissing you then” and Gabriel laughs softly until he’s cut off by Sam’s lips on his own.

It’s a light, tentative pressure that’s all sweetness. It’s not perfectly aligned because even with them both sitting and Sam stooping he still hits a little high and only catches the top lip of Gabriel’s open mouth. But Gabriel smiles a little and closes his mouth to meet Sam’s – ‘accidentally’ catching the lower lip with his teeth - which causes Sam to make a noise which is decidedly not sweet but definitely interesting.

“Gabriel”

Gabriel shushes him and kisses him again. This should probably be the point where they have some kind of discussion about how they feel or how long this has been building up for or maybe just about what the heck are they doing here. But instead they sink into the grass and slowly make out by the shore of a lake at sunrise, because nothing needs to be said.

Sam already understands.

 


End file.
